Collection of Reflections — Where the Grass is Greener

Greetings! Your friendly blogger is alive and well after a 3 month hiatus and a seemingly endless summer of SoCal heat that kept us golf course superintendents on our toes daily and nightly. Recently I’ve engaged with the concept of time; it is a fascinating subject. It is completely relative and seemingly ever changing, yet is totally constant. Same seconds, minutes and hours in everyday so what makes it feel so different. “Time flies when your having fun” they say; but its not fun if you feel like your always '“running out of time.” So how do we preserve and use our time, after all, how many of us have said, “there’s plenty of time for that, later.” It truly is an intricate relationship we have. Regardless, we all have the daily challenge of organizing our time that best fits our needs and goals. I recently was able to take the past week off of work, as I am beginning an opportunity to lead a new golf course’s maintenance operation. I took advantage of the “time on my hands” to reflect back on the past 15 months of my previous employment and life in general. I wanted to take note of what I learned; what I can bring forward, and find areas that I want to continue developing in. Interestingly, my week of reflection culminated in a return to where it all began for me, in San Diego 23 years ago. That mini-road trip cast me into a great big pool of nostalgia and I certainly enjoyed those reflections. I’m going to share these reflections as they signify moments in my life that have shaped my growth as a man, father and husband.

I’m going to start with the most recent 15 month span which started back in Tennessee—we had only moved out there for a couple of years (it felt much longer than that!) and were starting to get attached to the life, culture and natural beauty when situations changed and a decision was made to move back to California. We were very intentional on what we were seeking this time around—it was not going to be a return to where we were, but the goal was to create a new beginning. I was able to gain employment close enough to where we wanted to live, good schools, safe community and pretty close to the beach—-South Orange Count is tough to beat! For me, I knew I needed to take a different approach professionally, merely pouring all my energy into golf course conditions was not the path to fulfillment; instead I challenged myself to engage professionally and cultivate deeper industry relations. I was excited to renew the relationships from my previous “life” in CA, and establish new ones now in a slightly different geographic part of the state. I can affirmatively look back and say this has been a successful pursuit and has led to this new opportunity in front of me. The realization that a perfectly manicured putting green, while great, is not as impactful as allowing others to share in the depth of who I am has been one of the biggest contributors to my professional growth and overall personal happiness these past 15 months. Taking my finger off the “control” button and giving things to God has been an enlightening approach; being able to reconcile how little control I have over daily occurrences, has reduced stress and frustration and amplified gratitude for all the blessings in my life. This approach takes effort everyday, but I believe it has led me on a path to be the person I am meant to be. However, the past year or so was not without challenges, having lost my Dad to start the year is not a moment one is truly prepared to handle. I have realized that although I may never get to give him a hug again, I can always close my eyes and see him smiling or reflect back on our many adventures from the golf course to the ski slopes. I miss him but I still talk to him alot. There’s so much more I could cram in here, as we have moved across the country, done two house searches, changed jobs, and with my kids starting high school and college—there has been no shortage of action. Time has been flying by!!! I’m very grateful for the week that past which allowed me to pause, catch my breath and just be aware of all we have accomplished.

From the Midwest, back to the West Coast!

As I mentioned, my week ended at a golf event in San Diego, at Rancho Bernardo Inn of all places. My golf maintenance career really began at this property 23 years ago. I had moved to San Diego mostly on a whim and lived with a high school buddy for about 4 years. During that time, I worked my way up the ladder of a small company to become a young superintendent. Rancho Bernardo Inn was also the scene of the crime from the “Donnyboy and the Trencher” story. It was great to return and harvest the fun memories from my days and nights spent on the property. The event was a chance to see many old acquaintances from my tenure in SD. It was a great overall experience to feel the warmth of friendship which ultimately made me realize why that period of time was so special for me. In reality, life was pretty challenging during that 4 year span. Within 2 weeks of locating to the beach, I broke my collarbone, leaving me unable to search for a job for 6 weeks. Once I was able to begin working, there were 3 cross town promotions and relocations the allowed for more convenient commutes through the county. Throw in my incident with the trencher and navigating a long distance relationship with my now wife of 18 years, I very often felt all over the place, and wanted to just call a TIME OUT so I could reset my playbook. Nobody expects you to have all your stuff figured out during your 20s, and I certainly didn’t. My point is when I look back at what was one of the more challenging periods of life, I wonder why does it bring me so much happiness? Aside from being masked in the beauty of the surroundings, it really is about the relationships I was able to make and foster that are still in tact today.

Gaining people in your life that truly love and care about you is something that will last you until the end of time. So, I think my biggest takeaway from the past week and even just navigating the writing of this piece, is how important it is to nurture the relationships in our life; work is important and pays the bills, but nobody really gives a damn how good your golf course is, that was a personal note I had to reconcile to elevate my joy and happiness. For me, time moves slowest when I am with the ones I care about the most. Gaining the understanding of the what truly makes me happy, allows me to focus my time better on cultivating those moments. It is part of the inspiration for writing this blog, and I enjoy sharing for whoever wants to read. It takes honest hard work to figure these things out for ourself, but the discovery is worth the time.